he asked me if it was because i had been drinking..all of a sudden i got super defensive and wondered why he'd ask me that..later explained that since i was at a party the night before and complained of feeling so sick and out of it the next morning, he just assumed that there could've been alcohol involved.
i lied and said "i don't drink," and how (comically and ironically) i was "so straight edge now." but of course he had to catch on to that nuance aswell and ask "so you used to ? " aside: its funny people always link (most) drugs and alcohol with clubs, raves, being the life of the party, and while i may've been able to find drugs and alcohol AT parties, for the most part, my addictions found me more isolated than I had ever been, just alone in my room...
In other words, you need to concentrate on you and your own emotional growth and development before you can hope to grow in a relationship with someone else.
In the early days of recovery you are probably feeling all kinds of emotions and these emotions are stronger because you have denied them for so long.
so after learning his views on drugs and alcohol (not so much his views as his teetotalism) i was scared, i didn't want him to know the truth about me.
so, recently, there's a guy in my life who seems to be just perfect in every way.
i'm still struggling to string a few months together..alone a full year or even that coveted 6 month mark...i know you really shouldn't be dating so early in sobriety, but i just don't want to let this guy go.
i wish i could come clean about why i avoided him for those couple days, but i don't want to gamble with what we have and how he thinks of me ...i know he's not naive enough to think that i don't have any "flaws", but past drug use and addiction would be considered heavy baggage in some (probably most) people's books..i had maybe a year plus cleantime under my belt, maybe my addictions wouldn't be so *relevant* , but they still are for me..him not knowing..feels synonymous with being really disingenuous.
Not only is this part of your healing process but, it also will teach you some new and valuable skills in dealing with new relationships and the more skills you develop now the better chance a new relationship will have to succeed.
AA recommends that members be in recovery at least a year before starting a new relationship.