In this day and age, it isn’t at all unusual to find yourself dating a man who is divorced.
With people getting married younger (have you ever watched “16 and Pregnant”? This leads to plenty of good-looking, eligible men on the market who have a past. However, there’s often a stigma that comes with the word “divorce”.
Many people, men and women, assume that when someone is divorced they made a lousy spouse. Just because a man is divorced doesn’t mean he’s a bad man.
As a double divorcee, I can tell you that yes, there were times I made a lousy spouse, but there were times I was the perfect wife! My mother always says, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” or, more delicately, just because he wasn’t right for one woman, doesn’t mean he isn’t perfect for you!
I can tell you that the kids are most willing to take out their pent up anger on you…the innocent new girlfriend who just happens to be proof that dad isn’t getting back together with mom. ” Don’t you remember how the twins acted towards dad’s new girlfriend (even though the new girlfriend was hideously rude and had a genuine dislike of kids…that’s not the point)?
You have no idea if these people liked his ex or couldn’t stand her, but you don’t want to be compared to her. Now, let’s assume his kids adore you and everything is going great. In fact, the better you get along with everyone else, the more likely the ex is to hate you for it.You’re not going to talk badly about his ex because you don’t want your relationship with him to be based on how much you both hate her!So, aside from being the “bigger man” in the situation, and in spite of any feelings your guy might have towards his ex, you have to be cool so she isn’t interfering with your relationship (and yes, even unknowingly being talked about behind her back is a form of inadvertently interfering in your relationship).There may come a point when you have to stand your ground.Perhaps his ex is trying to tell you who’s boss in HIS house, maybe she’s trying to talk badly about him, or butting into your relationship.Also, if you and his children get along too well too fast, and then you and this guy break up, it will be devastating for the children (it’s their parents’ divorce all over again).Don’t meet the kids right away; give the relationship with you and your guy time to bloom first.Speaking of kids, it’s important not to try too hard when you meet his children.There’s no need to bring toys and shower them with gifts and over attention. If you’re trying too hard, they’ll know you’re afraid that they will dislike you and ruin your chances with their father.Were the live images of her personality even more terrifying than the ones you imagined?Did she make you want to throw something across the room at her oversized head? There are many women out there who find that the ex-wife isn’t always the cool and down-to-earth person they hoped she’d be.