Trying to be mindful of his custody arrangement, I asked if he could get together again in two weeks.He said he was busy, and when I asked when he'd be available he said after Memorial Day, which would have made it at least a month between dates.I've made sacrifices in my life to be a writer — namely, financial. I like a lot of things about my apartment, but it feels like maybe a step and a half up from a dorm, with nary a picture hanging on the wall or throw rug on the floor.For the past 11 years, I've lived in a small studio apartment that I initially thought of as a temporary place to park until I bought a brownstone. Divorced dads have real, grown-up responsibilities. They've likely lived in fully decorated homes, even if they don't at the moment due to a post-divorce transition.
The first lived out of town — at the beginning of January, we were talking about him planning a trip to visit me in New York later that month."While some women may consider it a liability, being a divorced dad is a big plus for me.All things being equal, I prefer a divorced dad to someone who's never been married any day.Some guys milk their divorced-dad-ness in their profiles, flaunting lots of pictures of themselves with their adorable offspring, and some show no signs of being a parent, only to confess it on the first date as if it's a secret to hide.Earlier this year, I went on a date with a guy who, practically before I sat down, blurted, "I'm divorced and I have two kids!As someone who's had my share of difficulties, I relate best to people who've had some struggles in their lives and grappled with deeper issues.Divorced dads also seem grown-up in a way that I don't quite feel I am yet.They know how to buy a car, stock a fridge, and what it's like to be an adult.And dating one can feel like I get to play grown-up in their presence, too, like maybe their adultness will rub off on me.With a man who's been married before, you know that he can commit, says Eris Huemer, cofounder of Divorce Doctor, a company that provides counseling for people going through divorces.Divorced men also know the ups and downs that come with long-term involvement.