In an effort to achieve permanency for this child, I had a 15-minute phone conversation with the adoptive parents encouraging them to agree with the mother’s desires. At the time, I thought this was great casework because I had achieved permanency for a child.
However, I did not realize the burden placed on the adoptive parents to facilitate four annual visits and provide progress reports to the biological mother.
Your capacity for failure doesn’t mean you are terrible or special — it just means you are human and ordinary.
Luckily, he wasn’t at his desk so I immediately deleted it (thanks, Slack!
) but then he got the notification on his phone (fuck you, Slack) and messaged me he didn’t know you could delete Slack messages until now.
So yeah, that was a pretty low low and very embarrassing. I tried to play it off and apologized for deleting it.
As I continued my career, I realized that such important decisions should not be brokered by telephone — families need time to process and evaluate if they can accommodate having contact with biological parents until the child is of age.
At the time, I did find permanency for a child in foster care, but at what cost?